Most couples put a lot of thought into the songs they want at their wedding. The first dance, the walk-in song, the tracks that mean something to them as a couple. That’s exactly right — and I’ll go through all of that with you before the day.
But the conversation that often gets skipped, and the one that can quietly save your evening, is the do not play list.
Why it matters
Every DJ has a story about this. Mine involves a well-meaning guest requesting a song at 9pm that the couple had specifically told me they never wanted to hear again — an ex’s song, as it turned out. Without a clear do not play list in writing, I’d have had no grounds to decline it confidently.
With one, I did. The guest was politely redirected. The couple never knew it had happened. That’s exactly how it should work.
A do not play list isn’t about being difficult. It’s about giving your DJ the information they need to protect the atmosphere you’ve worked hard to create.
What to put on it
Songs with bad associations — an ex’s song, a track that was playing during a difficult time, anything that makes either of you wince when it comes on the radio. You don’t need to explain why. Just add it to the list.
Songs that don’t fit the mood — every wedding has a vibe. If yours is elegant and sophisticated, certain tracks will feel jarring even if they’re technically crowd pleasers. Think about the atmosphere you want and work backwards.
Requests you know are coming — if you have a guest who always requests the same song at every party and it’s not your cup of tea, put it on the list now. Saves an awkward conversation on the night.
Songs that date badly — some tracks clear dancefloors faster than a fire alarm. If there’s a genre or era you know your crowd doesn’t connect with, mention it.
How it works in practice
Before your wedding I’ll send you a planning form that covers your must-plays, your first dance, any special moments we need to cue music for, and your do not play list. Most couples come back with three to ten songs on the do not play list. Some have more, some have none at all.
On the night, if a guest requests something on the list I’ll decline it gracefully and move on — no fuss, no explanation needed. Your guests won’t know why and it won’t cause any awkwardness.
The list is just between us.
The balance
One thing worth saying — a very long do not play list can make it harder to read the room and keep the dancefloor moving. If the list runs to 50 songs across multiple genres it starts to limit flexibility in ways that can affect the evening. The sweet spot is being specific about the things that genuinely matter to you, and trusting me to handle the rest.
After 30 years of weddings I’ve got a good instinct for what works and what doesn’t. The do not play list tells me where the boundaries are. Everything inside those boundaries I can work with.
Ready to start planning?
Get in touch and I’ll send over the planning form — it covers everything we need to discuss before your day, including the do not play list.
📞 07717 380610 ✉ yourevent@alastairreay.co.uk Or view packages and prices